Marriage Chronicles II
I left off on the first part of My Marriage Chronicles where my wife, Veronica, and I were reunited via our sister who has gone home to be with The Lord; Cynthia. Man do I miss her! We all miss her! She was one of my BIGGEST supporters in EVERYTHING I did. From my professional life to my spiritual growth to ministry to my relationship life. The cliche' is very much necessary here; the big sister I never had. Here's what happened. Her and Veronica were roommates. Cynthia invited me over for dinner without telling Veronica. I hesitantly accepted the invitation and showed up. I was able to break bread with the both of them and actually sit down with Veronica to catch up a bit.
This was a pretty interesting time in my life because I'd just resigned from a position after a very long time of prayer, fasting, and concentration. So I was in a desert place with no clue as to what God was about to do in my life. During my quiet times, my prayers went from, "Lord, I don't know what You're doing with her and I." to "Lord, make it clear what my next step with her will be because I know what I want out of this." Yes, I went from playing around to wanting a SERIOUS COURTSHIP. I've thrown that word around a bit within these last two posts. Courtship is the process in which two people have the intentions of marrying each other in the near future. For me, this is like pre-engagement stage without a ring. Once I was given the "green light" from God to go ahead and enter back into courtship with Veronica, there was one thing I just had to do prior to moving forward. I had to apologize. I had to apologize for me running in and out of her life whenever I felt like it and being selfish. I didn't know when I was going to do it though because I knew how much it would take out of me.
One evening, we were over her place conversing and it's almost as if everything she was saying I was tuning her out and began telling myself, "APOLOGIZE." So in mid sentence, I stopped her and apologized. I'D DID IT! IT FINALLY CAME OUT!" I said, "I have to apologize to you after 8 years of mistreating you and not considering your feelings. I'm sorry. I don't deserve your forgiveness, BUT if you can allow God to find an inch of space in your heart to forgive me with, I'd love for us to move forward." WHOA! WHAT A LOADED STATEMENT! Her reaction was surprising and it was one I wasn't ready for. I love this part of our process because it's very symbolic of my relationship with Christ. The only way He and I are able to have a relationship is because I acknowledged to Him my wrongs (a sinner) and asked for forgiveness and him to come into my life (Salvation/restoration/Newness) And at that point, the REAL COURTSHIP began!