Marriage Chronicles: Digging Is Apart of The Process
What's happening family? I hope yall are doing well. I want to first thank you for taking time out to read this post. This is part 6 of the "Marriage Chronicles". There are tons of these I could really do because my marriage is filled with alot of stuff; good stuff, not so good stuff, great stuff, and the like.
This time I want to take up the subject "Digging Is Apart of The Process". I chose this title becuase of where Veronica and I are at the moment. We are currently in a state of 'digging' right now. We are digging out of a funk, drought, whatever you want to call it. There was at least a good week of ineffective communication, knit picking, very little chemistry in our house. I cannot even tell you where/when/how it begin. What I do know is this...
We're digging out of the mess! And it feels good...refreshing!
If you're married, you know exactly what I'm talking about. If you're not...continue reading. It is very easy to find yourselves (husband and wife) in a routine lifestyle; wake up, get yourself ready, get the child(ren) ready, drop them off at childcare/or at school, go to work, come home, catching up with one another while having dinner, bath time, sleep and then it starts all over again. This can become extremely mundane and before you know it, you're in a 'task oriented' marriage. Conversations can easily become much about checklists and less about connection. It's much like the shore pattern of a beach. When the water rushes in, it only takes back the sand grain by grain...very slowly. If you take a snapshot of the shoreline in January and come back in May and take a snapshot from the same angle, you will certainly see the difference. My point is stuff like this doesn't happen instantly. It happens over time. Here's the other reality. It took some time to get to that point so getting back to a healthy place is not going to happen with the snap of a finger. It's going to take some 'DIGGING!'
There are two (2) things I want you to remember about "Digging" and they are:
1) It gets messy.
Digging gets messy because it takes both parties admitting and confessing faults, apologizing, and asking for forgivess. This is never easy because we are naturally prideful people. Owning up to your own mess is never pretty. It takes courage, humility, and selflessness. I'm reminded of an old quote that says, "No one ever died from swallowing their own pride."
2) Great growth takes place in the lowest of valleys.
This point right here! Many of us want growth, but we don't want to go where it is to get it. Most mountains do not have a ton of activity going up at the peak, but if you go down to the valley...you'll find trees, water, flowers, plants, grass, and the like. Here is where the GROWTH takes place. This is also where character is developed and what a better place to experience God.
Common Responses While In The Valley:
- "It's impossible for us to get out of here."
Luke 18:27 "The things which are impossible with men are possible with God."
- "I'm tired of being in this place."
Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."
- "I just can't figure this thing out!"
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.
- "This isn't even worth it."
Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to HIs purpose.