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Marriage Chronicles VI: Speaking The Same Language

In order to speak the same language as a couple, you must

  1. Both understand the vision. CLEARLY.

I love what Andy Stanley said in his book "Making Vision Stick". State the vision and repeat it regularly. I completely understand he's speaking from an organizational perspective, however, this point can speak to the marriage relationship. The two of you, you and your spouse, have the privilege of working together to maintain the order of your household. This is the task oriented piece of marriage

2. Keep the main thing the main thing.

I love filters. Filters are created to allow only what's necessary to get through. Many organizations use values as filters. The values of the organization helps in the decision process as far as if what is considered being done should actually be done. In other words, if that "thing" doesn't align with the goals, values, mission, or vision of the organization; {often times} there's no need to entertain the idea of doing whatever it is. In a marriage, there should be a similar concept. The vision for my marriage is 'From The Inside-Out'. We do not want people to look at us and simply say "THEY are a great couple." or "THEY got it all together." We want to glorify God through our marriage and ultimately see how He's changed (and continuing to change) us 'From The Inside-Out'. Whenever Veronica and I are stuck on a making a decision, we ask ourselves, "Does this support the vision for our marriage? How does this allow us to live 'From The Inside-Out'?" This is our main thing. It helps us correct actions toward one another. It helps us, at times, decide how we serve and give financially.

3. Honor each other's ( husband and wife) position.

I received this during Veronica's pregnancy with Riley. Things were difficult in terms of serving one another throughout that time. God didn't create me to be able to experience child birth. He didn't create Veronica to be able to lead a family. I respect what she endured to deliver our daughter from the moment she discovered we'd conceived all the way up to the delivery and even after birth. She respects the fact that, at the end of the day, I'm held responsible for the direction our family goes in. I don't want her responsibility and she doesn't want mine, however we honor and respect each other's position God has called each of us to play.

Speak the same language and watch how much peace and oneness will exist in your marriage. Husbands, spend the time investing in laying the foundation by creating the vision for your marriage. Communicate it often so it sticks with your family. That way; everyone is on board and buy into the vision.

Until next time...take care.

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